This year started with Sarah Vine - no relation, or certainly not one we invited over for Christmas - getting overly emotional and weeping for the youth, because some people got drunk. And not just any people: Women!
Look, the Daily Mail gets called out for being racist every day, but it works equally hard at it's sexism and that deserves recognition. Because Sarah Vine is weeping for young women, and yet somehow this appears to be the least sympathetic and most Daily Mail thing I have read in a long time. Sarah Vine has condensed it down to just 17 images of women that make her weep for Britain, I initially thought it was 18 but the little photo of herself looking miserable turned out to be her byline. They should probably have told all their writers they were doing it so they smiled. Anywhoo... let the great 2017 slut shaming begin!
Barefoot & Sodden are an indie duo touring university towns
Cause for laughter? One girl is bloodied, but another finds it amusing
Caption supplied by the Daily Mail Haiku department
"Too Much" It's just too much! Beyond the pale!
It's all fun and games until someone flashes 20% of a single butt cheek.
What has Nottingham come to?
This man has been "seized" by a woman!
I don't think in all my student days or single days, I was ever seized
It's not a good night, unless you get seized.
I want to dance with somebody, wanna feel the heat with somebody, wanna be seized by somebody.
Seriously? I don't think anyone has used the word 'seized' to describe a drunk person falling into them since 1902
Piggy Backs make Sarah Vine despair by exactly the same degree as women passed out on park benches or receiving care from an ambulance crew
One of these girls is weary.
The other isn't wearying very much at all.
Weary. Wear-y. Wear. See what they --- see what they did there
The guy who realised Health & Safety sounded like 'Elf & Safety was on form after a Christmas break
This woman has fallen over. What is the world coming to?
VIOLENCE
I love the emphasis on the fact he's T-Shirted.
I mean that's an under garment surely? If a gentleman is going out for the night he must surely wear a shirt over his T-Shirt, and a tie, a cravat, a jacket and an over coat.
What would Queen Victoria say if she could see this?
A reveller enjoying New Year's Eve. The cunt.
But there is a serious side to this. Remember this girl with the tiny cut on her knee.
The Mail wouldn't simply be using this as an excuse to attack young people and women, two groups they definitely don't despise. There's an important message.
How will the NHS cope? That lass fell over! I know the government are doing what they can to close down the NHS but surely they could cope?
Perhaps the Mail just couldn't get the images of people with genuine life threatening injuries or photos internal organ damage, so they just chose these pictures of people out enjoying themselves and hoped it would serve as a warning and generate some sympathy. They're probably outraged that so many of their readers have chosen to judge the people in these pictures.
As always there are bigger issues than just some ladies drinking prosecco from a bottle and it wouldn't be the Daily Mail if it didn't at this point explain why the whole of feminism is a terrible failed experiment:
These girls live in a post-feminist society that tells them anything a man can do, they can do better.
Well clearly that's not the case. Just look at those statistics. The number of alcohol related deaths among women has risen by 1,500 in the last 22 years.
Clearly they can't do anything a man can do better, because there's no statistics for how many men have died from alcohol related deaths so clearly that's not happening at all.
If that woman fell in front of the kings horse today, the Daily Mail would have a photo where you could see her pants and a caption that reads "fucking hell love, sort yourself out."
This couldn't be more fucking Daily Mail, grumpy old man sitting in the corner ranting about young people if it tried.
Not unless it started with "In My Day..." and blamed it all on some modern technology it doesn't understand and hasn't tried.
Since the invention of Uber - the very first ever public transport service in the world - these things are only getting worse.
Of course it's Uber's fault. Why? Because 1) It's new. 2) We tossed a coin and it was heads, tails was Pokemon Go. New things: aren't they so much worse than old things?
Sarah Vine sadly doesn't offer us any sensible suggestions for how to solve this so it's over to A Thompson of bath, in the comments section to come up with a sensible suggestion
Yes. Yes. That is definitely what they should have done.
In the above comment "parents, boss etc can see her like that," etc means a.thompson of Bath.
SEIZED?!
