Unlucky 13

I am beyond excited at Peter Capaldi's casting as the Doctor. All 11 Doctor Who actors so far, have become my favourite actor after being in Doctor Who and I watched their other stuff, Peter Capaldi is the first actor to already be one of my favourite actors before getting the part in Doctor Who and that's even after being forced to watch Local Hero every week for a year in A Level Film Studies. No offence to Peter but if you show a class of 16 year olds that film and ask them to compare it to Trainspotting for a year, sorry, it wont do well. As a result our class are far more likely to do heroin than drill for oil, so it's not all bad.

Everything we've read so far about Peter's Doctor - ok, maybe I should say everything we've officially read, not counting scripts that have leaked and episodes you can watch online, wonder if they'll send the DVDs out before the big twist again this time, or put the finale on 23rd August....

Everything we've read about Peter's Doctor suggests he will be dangerous, strange and quite possibly dark which is all exciting. He's also not too old. It turns out around 38 is the appropriate age to play the Doctor. Tennant and Smith were 'too young' to play the Doctor (of course they were, neither of them looked 900), while Capaldi is apparently 'too old' and young people wont connect with him. (Erm...not like there was a kids spin-off with a 60 year old woman in the lead on CBBC or that it was their most watched program, and Dumbledore was no spring chicken, nor was the Wizard of Oz or Grandad from Bernard's Watch). Even worse is the people who think he's not too old, they say things like "It'll be good to see a Doctor who doesn't flirt with his companions." Actually it'd be pretty cool to see an older Doctor who still fancies his young companion when they are no longer a good fit - you can have that idea Moffat, just wait for all the yewtree stuff to blow over though. Some people say it will be better to see him no longer kissing River Song all the time. Because apparently 50 year old Alex Kingston kissing 30 year old Matt Smith is normal but a 56 year old Capaldi kissing 51 year old Kingston isn't. Gross. Old people kissing. My parents are old. I don't want to think about them kissing.

Fortunately a lot of the cynicism is dying away now as the new series draws close and the intriguing trailers must help that, it looks epic. Unconvincing dinosaurs in central London? It really is a return to the Jon Pertwee era!

My only concern with Peter Capaldi is he is such a talented and in demand actor we may not get too many years of him as the Doctor. When a new Doctor Who is announced on Sunday, the papers usually start asking when they will leave on the Monday, but he is a big star already. It's a worry.

So I would like to throw my fez into the ring to be considered for the role of the 13th Doctor.

The rest of this blog is more for Steven Moffat to read than you but thank you for sticking with it.

You see, here's my theory...

This is Peter Capaldi before he was the Doctor. 

Peter Capaldi in Prime Suspect

And this is Matt Smith before he was the Doctor


Matt Smith in That Face

And this is David Tennant before he was the Doctor



David Tennant in Rab C Nesbitt

And this is Christopher Eccleston before he was the Doctor

Christopher Eccleston in Shallow Grave

Ok, so the pattern collapses a bit then. But anyway, here's me before I played The Doctor.

Dan Vine in Leicester Square (don't ask)

 And this is Jon Pertwee actually playing the Doctor.

Jon Petwee in Doctor Who: The Green Death

If Peter Capaldi is an older Doctor, then you should contrast that with a younger one next, and while Peter Capaldi may be getting his bus pass by the time he regenerates, I am currently renewing my 16-25 years Railcard for another 3 years (and hoping nobody notices that takes me up to 27).
Another fan theory is because Capaldi looks like an older moodier Doctor, when the Timelords renewed his life cycle they reset him back to being like the first Doctor. In which case next you need a Troughton, a scruffy cosmic hobo of a Doctor. Like this?

He was also a genius...Just sayin'

 

There was also this Facebook game doing the rounds a while ago:

I'm The Book-Keeper. I have a sonic Thesaurus and my catchphrase is "It's like changing history and there being no My Family after Nick left *happy sigh*."

So clearly I was already thinking about time travel, although the amount of spam I get, it's surprising the Book-Keeper doesn't have an awesome catchphrase of shouting "STOP" powerfully at aliens and EE.

The Book-Keeper may not sound like the most exciting name but a wise man once said:

"You want weapons. We're in a library. Books. The most powerful weapons in the universe." - The Doctor 

I understand there may be some difference between Book-Keeping and literally keeping books, but you try taking an interest if both your parents are book-keepers. And keeping books isn't a million miles away from Curator is it?

Just a shame about that sonic thesaurus, coz by my right hand at the time was this:

That's my TV remote. I'm a nerd beyond help.

A good Doctor needs to have a hat. Ideally a fez.



Madness fans make excellent Doctors
That's Sugg's new slogan

And I have the scarf already:



 

Or perhaps they'd rather go down the Colin Baker route again:

 

Some bow ties are not cool!



It's a hat that says 'cool'. I wear a hat that says 'cool' now. Hats that say 'cool' are ironic

 

The Doctor needs a companion who he can rely on and explain the plot to:



Or a team of companions that he can pose dramatically with:



Note the blue suit with converse look.
Turns out modelling your fashion sense on a 900 year old at uni, does not get you laid.
Who knew?


If you need your own transport here's me arriving at the BBC and a pub in Hertford.



 Sometimes it's essential that the Doctor blends into the background of important historical events:

Like the Kennedy assassination

Or the filming of a Madness music video

Thank you for considering my application Mr Moffat. References available on request. My notice period is three of your Earth cycles.