let me put it like this:
A girl called Hannah read this blog, she assumed it was some sort of joke or amusing parody of a ghost story. 3 days later she was dead. An incident with a flat burning bought about by ghostly interference.
A guy called Alex read this blog. He found the whole thing laughable. He wasn't laughing 24 hours later when he was dead.
Nobody can laugh when they're dead and I haven't made that up to scare you on halloween, science has proven it.
Nobody can laugh when they're dead and I haven't made that up to scare you on halloween, science has proven it.
The scientist I asked to look over this thought it seemed highly scientificly impossible and said anybody who believed it was a complete numbnuts (his words not mine). Well he didn't look so clever when EXACTLY 24 hours later (give or take an hour) he stood on a plug....
BAREFOOT.
Arthur read this blog, he ignored it's message proclaiming "well I'll believe it when I see it." He certainly saw it when 24 hours later he was blinded.
Malcolm went to look into how his friend Jon had died and stumbled across this blog. "It can't really be cursed" thought he, but he wasn't thinking that 24 hours later when the newsagents had sold out of the paper he usually bought...
So do stop reading now, for the tale I am about to impart is not for the faint hearted and you ignore it at your cost.
*********************
********************
It was halloween and it is thundering outside. Dan, a boy, was at home on his own and is sat at his computer and is trying to write a blog.
it's night.
he cant think of whatt to write about, when suddenly and slowly he thinks about
those old chain-letters that you see some times on the interweb and that used to pop up on My
Space from time to time. He always enjoyd parodying them back in the day/ Maybee Dan would look
for 1 of them to mock the grama of now, he thought.
Suddenly a chat window appeared on his screen.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Hi sexy.
This was most odd thought Dan, four he did not know anybody with that many x's in her name.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Want to no some thing fun!
She asked and/or exclaimed. Must bee 1 of those porno pop-ups about girls looking for sex in his area now. Dan herd these contained viruses so didn't click on them, on the basis that if there in the area hed run in2 them in Tecsos sooner or later.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I have no eyes.
Boy: How ironic is the mad spelling of your name then?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Huh!
Boy: Grammar joke! dw.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: wear was i?
Boy: "No eyes."
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: O i get it now. no i didn't mean that...I me....
Boy: Obvz. bad tayst jk sozzy. start again.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Hi Sexy.
Boy: Start again.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Hi sexy.
Boy: Start again.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Hi Se...o i see wat ur doin. fukk yu this is imprtnt.
Boy: Sorry.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I hav no eyes & i am dead.
Dan was begginning to doubt her nickname (SeXi) but beggening to understand her nickname for him (sexy).
Boy: Oh right, soz abt that.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: do u wnt 2 kno how i died.
Boy: ideally not.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Well...its a long story
Boy: in that case ***8**dan closed the window****
he leanned backk in his chair and returned to thinking about his blogs. wuld he rite a parody of one of thse chain letters? or not? wuld peepl still get them? he hopped they wud. those things were lyk super scary. mayb he wouldn't. just then a conversation window popped up.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: yu cant silence me lyk that.
Boy: Aaaaaaaahhhh! (too make it clear, he said that rather than typed it) **he fell off his chair in horror** (again, he did it, not typed it).
Boy: **falls off chair in horror** he typed byway of explanasion
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx then patiently explained that you must signout of chat rather than just closing the window.
Boy: Oh fanx. ***he signed out of chat and closed the window**
Just then their was a knock at the door. Boy: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! (see above) ***he fell of his chair***
Boy: I really need to fukking fix that bak weel.
There was the same loud knock at the door. he went down the stairs and opened the door and Saw a young girl standing there, he didn't recognize.
"YOU IGNORED ME ON THE INTERNET AND NOW IM GOING TO FUKKING
RAPE YOU YOU MOTHER FUKKER!" she exclaimed by way of introduckshion.
"What? But you mean that your..."
"yes..." she explained herself.
Lamenating the loss of innocence in childrens fancy dress costumes these days, dan handed over some sweets. "I fink all the smarties are gone," he apologised. "if yu want a tip stick to the usual 'trick or treat' opening line from now on."
"I THOUGHT THE RAPE LINE WAS PUNCHIER!"
"nO. pEOPLE WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE BY THE TRACKSUIT, THE MEDALLION AND THE SACK OF CHILDRENS LETTERS FROM THE 70s" said Dan wisely.
Thanks Mr. said the sweet stealing girl (to clairify: she was stealing sweets, she was neither sweet nor a theif) NICE COSTUME she added.
dAN slamed the door in2 her face and she walked on to the next house. How dare she call his onesie a halloween costume? he was just chillin. she was barely even looking at him any way. idk wat the world is cumming to, fort dan.
He went back up to his room 2 mak a start on his chain-leter parody blog. AAAAAAHHHHH!!! he screamed and sat on his chair in order to fall off it.
wat he saw on the screen was truly disturbing.
.......................................
...............................................
..............................
.......................
....................
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
...................................
...........
He made a MENTAL note to change his screensaver from "My Pictures" to "windows default" and delete all evidence of that mental night out.
.............
He sat in his chair and touched the mouse to re-move the screensaver. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! *He fell off his chair*
Putting a book under the back weel of his seat 2 balance, it, he returend 2 the horrror on the screen. The conversation window was open again.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: You can't stop me just lyk tht.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Theirs no way yu can stp me
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I cann always talk too you.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Hullo?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: You their?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: .................
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: ...................
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: ......................
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Cinema Times, Taken 2, November 3rd.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Sorry, ment to type that into google. mybad.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: ..........................
Boy: Sorry, had to answer to the door. Trick & treaters.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I know.
Boy: Howd u no?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I watched you.
Boy: Hu? He checks his webcam and threw a sock over it**
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I can always see you.
Boy: Oh sheeeet! Th...wait a minute...didn't you say you had no eyes.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Well, I guess i did, but wat i mean is...
Boy: how u seein me then. im not available in fucking brail.
Boy: though im happy for you to have a quick rub if it helps you identi...no wait...eewww...
Boy: how necro is it if you're all ready having a convo with them first? Do you have photo of yourself?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I cnt tak a photo. I'm dead!
Boy: Right, but you can use Facebook. There's wi-fi in hell is there?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Listen yu stoopid litto shit. I have no eyes. I'm dead. I was killed by my bf who was meant to luv me. he killed me nd hid my body under the floorbords of my house. then i killed him. now I'm contacting you from beyond the grave. Stop picking holes and be afraid. Be very afraid. 4 i gonna kill you. are you home alone tonight daniel?
Boy: Er....no.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: r u home alone if yu dont count yur cat as a person?
Boy: Er...yes. But hes' got lots of personality and hes' almost like a person.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: then y dont i come over and kill yu tonite.
Boy: Er....traffic? its very cold outside. and the telly is good.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: The TV is shit these days and yu kno it.
Boy: Fair point.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Right, I'm coming over.
Dan got up and ran away from the computer.
Boy: excuse me a minute, got to run away from the computer a second. he typed.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Sure thing.
I got up and ran around the house locking all the doors and windows until he was certain that nobody could possibly get in. A ghoulish face appeared at the window in the front door. "Just take them and fukk off!" Dan shouted as he through sweets threw the catflap before boarding it up...er...with some wood...that I keep by the cat door for just such an emergency as this.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Feel all safe now.
Boy: Yes thanks.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Remember aaaaaaages ago wen i aksed 'wear was i?' well.... i didnt mean it like
that. i meant wear was i wen i died!
Boy: Where?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: my house
Boy: Well thats cleared that up, thanks. if theres nothing else, i was sort of trying to right an blog.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: then u moved in to my house. iv always been here. and u just locked urself in w/me. lmfao. u cnt.
Boy: then why are you using facebook to contact me?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: dont know. just feels better really. you can really express urself better sometimes when your not face-2-face w/someone ya kno watt i mean?
Boy: Cool.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: anyway, point is, i died here 25 years ago and now i am back to kill u.
Boy: WTFukk did i do? Thats hardly fair.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Is it fair that i had to die?
Boy: You are quite annoying, tbh.
Dan felt the book under the wheelless foot of his chair be kicked out and fell back off my chair.
Boy: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
**********************************
***************************
*******************************
***************8**************
********
since u read this blog, yu now hav to tell at least 10 of ur friends abt it or Dan and/or SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx will cum in the night (childish) and kill u 2.*
*to clarify, yu will be killed, not the popular smug irish band. i dnt kno if it will be SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx or myself that kills yu, im not sure of the ettiquette here. im new too this u see, ive only just died on halloween 2012 and then i had to write all this up so i dnt kno the rules. i kno ur thinkin, "but i dont live in dans house, surely that was the point there" bt....er....its complicated. stop aksing questions abt my logic. right, thats it, im coming to kill u. jst tell ur friends now and hav a happy halloween or ill kill u.
actually, hav a fukking shit scary halloween and whatever u do, dnt turn around right now.
*********************
********************
It was halloween and it is thundering outside. Dan, a boy, was at home on his own and is sat at his computer and is trying to write a blog.
it's night.
he cant think of whatt to write about, when suddenly and slowly he thinks about
those old chain-letters that you see some times on the interweb and that used to pop up on My
Space from time to time. He always enjoyd parodying them back in the day/ Maybee Dan would look
for 1 of them to mock the grama of now, he thought.
Suddenly a chat window appeared on his screen.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Hi sexy.
This was most odd thought Dan, four he did not know anybody with that many x's in her name.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Want to no some thing fun!
She asked and/or exclaimed. Must bee 1 of those porno pop-ups about girls looking for sex in his area now. Dan herd these contained viruses so didn't click on them, on the basis that if there in the area hed run in2 them in Tecsos sooner or later.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I have no eyes.
Boy: How ironic is the mad spelling of your name then?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Huh!
Boy: Grammar joke! dw.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: wear was i?
Boy: "No eyes."
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: O i get it now. no i didn't mean that...I me....
Boy: Obvz. bad tayst jk sozzy. start again.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Hi Sexy.
Boy: Start again.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Hi sexy.
Boy: Start again.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Hi Se...o i see wat ur doin. fukk yu this is imprtnt.
Boy: Sorry.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I hav no eyes & i am dead.
Dan was begginning to doubt her nickname (SeXi) but beggening to understand her nickname for him (sexy).
Boy: Oh right, soz abt that.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: do u wnt 2 kno how i died.
Boy: ideally not.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Well...its a long story
Boy: in that case ***8**dan closed the window****
he leanned backk in his chair and returned to thinking about his blogs. wuld he rite a parody of one of thse chain letters? or not? wuld peepl still get them? he hopped they wud. those things were lyk super scary. mayb he wouldn't. just then a conversation window popped up.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: yu cant silence me lyk that.
Boy: Aaaaaaaahhhh! (too make it clear, he said that rather than typed it) **he fell off his chair in horror** (again, he did it, not typed it).
Boy: **falls off chair in horror** he typed byway of explanasion
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx then patiently explained that you must signout of chat rather than just closing the window.
Boy: Oh fanx. ***he signed out of chat and closed the window**
Just then their was a knock at the door. Boy: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! (see above) ***he fell of his chair***
Boy: I really need to fukking fix that bak weel.
There was the same loud knock at the door. he went down the stairs and opened the door and Saw a young girl standing there, he didn't recognize.
"YOU IGNORED ME ON THE INTERNET AND NOW IM GOING TO FUKKING
RAPE YOU YOU MOTHER FUKKER!" she exclaimed by way of introduckshion.
"What? But you mean that your..."
"yes..." she explained herself.
Lamenating the loss of innocence in childrens fancy dress costumes these days, dan handed over some sweets. "I fink all the smarties are gone," he apologised. "if yu want a tip stick to the usual 'trick or treat' opening line from now on."
"I THOUGHT THE RAPE LINE WAS PUNCHIER!"
"nO. pEOPLE WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE BY THE TRACKSUIT, THE MEDALLION AND THE SACK OF CHILDRENS LETTERS FROM THE 70s" said Dan wisely.
Thanks Mr. said the sweet stealing girl (to clairify: she was stealing sweets, she was neither sweet nor a theif) NICE COSTUME she added.
dAN slamed the door in2 her face and she walked on to the next house. How dare she call his onesie a halloween costume? he was just chillin. she was barely even looking at him any way. idk wat the world is cumming to, fort dan.
He went back up to his room 2 mak a start on his chain-leter parody blog. AAAAAAHHHHH!!! he screamed and sat on his chair in order to fall off it.
wat he saw on the screen was truly disturbing.
.......................................
...............................................
..............................
.......................
....................
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
...................................
...........
He made a MENTAL note to change his screensaver from "My Pictures" to "windows default" and delete all evidence of that mental night out.
.............
He sat in his chair and touched the mouse to re-move the screensaver. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! *He fell off his chair*
Putting a book under the back weel of his seat 2 balance, it, he returend 2 the horrror on the screen. The conversation window was open again.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: You can't stop me just lyk tht.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Theirs no way yu can stp me
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I cann always talk too you.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Hullo?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: You their?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: .................
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: ...................
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: ......................
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Cinema Times, Taken 2, November 3rd.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Sorry, ment to type that into google. mybad.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: ..........................
Boy: Sorry, had to answer to the door. Trick & treaters.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I know.
Boy: Howd u no?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I watched you.
Boy: Hu? He checks his webcam and threw a sock over it**
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I can always see you.
Boy: Oh sheeeet! Th...wait a minute...didn't you say you had no eyes.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Well, I guess i did, but wat i mean is...
Boy: how u seein me then. im not available in fucking brail.
Boy: though im happy for you to have a quick rub if it helps you identi...no wait...eewww...
Boy: how necro is it if you're all ready having a convo with them first? Do you have photo of yourself?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: I cnt tak a photo. I'm dead!
Boy: Right, but you can use Facebook. There's wi-fi in hell is there?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Listen yu stoopid litto shit. I have no eyes. I'm dead. I was killed by my bf who was meant to luv me. he killed me nd hid my body under the floorbords of my house. then i killed him. now I'm contacting you from beyond the grave. Stop picking holes and be afraid. Be very afraid. 4 i gonna kill you. are you home alone tonight daniel?
Boy: Er....no.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: r u home alone if yu dont count yur cat as a person?
Boy: Er...yes. But hes' got lots of personality and hes' almost like a person.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: then y dont i come over and kill yu tonite.
Boy: Er....traffic? its very cold outside. and the telly is good.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: The TV is shit these days and yu kno it.
Boy: Fair point.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Right, I'm coming over.
Dan got up and ran away from the computer.
Boy: excuse me a minute, got to run away from the computer a second. he typed.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Sure thing.
I got up and ran around the house locking all the doors and windows until he was certain that nobody could possibly get in. A ghoulish face appeared at the window in the front door. "Just take them and fukk off!" Dan shouted as he through sweets threw the catflap before boarding it up...er...with some wood...that I keep by the cat door for just such an emergency as this.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Feel all safe now.
Boy: Yes thanks.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Remember aaaaaaages ago wen i aksed 'wear was i?' well.... i didnt mean it like
that. i meant wear was i wen i died!
Boy: Where?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: my house
Boy: Well thats cleared that up, thanks. if theres nothing else, i was sort of trying to right an blog.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: then u moved in to my house. iv always been here. and u just locked urself in w/me. lmfao. u cnt.
Boy: then why are you using facebook to contact me?
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: dont know. just feels better really. you can really express urself better sometimes when your not face-2-face w/someone ya kno watt i mean?
Boy: Cool.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: anyway, point is, i died here 25 years ago and now i am back to kill u.
Boy: WTFukk did i do? Thats hardly fair.
SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx: Is it fair that i had to die?
Boy: You are quite annoying, tbh.
Dan felt the book under the wheelless foot of his chair be kicked out and fell back off my chair.
Boy: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
**********************************
***************************
*******************************
***************8**************
********
since u read this blog, yu now hav to tell at least 10 of ur friends abt it or Dan and/or SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx will cum in the night (childish) and kill u 2.*
*to clarify, yu will be killed, not the popular smug irish band. i dnt kno if it will be SeXiLiliii<3xxxxxxcxx or myself that kills yu, im not sure of the ettiquette here. im new too this u see, ive only just died on halloween 2012 and then i had to write all this up so i dnt kno the rules. i kno ur thinkin, "but i dont live in dans house, surely that was the point there" bt....er....its complicated. stop aksing questions abt my logic. right, thats it, im coming to kill u. jst tell ur friends now and hav a happy halloween or ill kill u.
actually, hav a fukking shit scary halloween and whatever u do, dnt turn around right now.
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