Gonna post a new blog tomorrow about Halloween, but while going through the hard-drive on my old pre-uni laptop I can across some proper old blogs from my myspace days. This is, as far as a I recall, the first one of these that I did. One of those chain letter things. My comments are in red. (I've made some minor changes to fix my own grammar and update some references).
One night these five girls were
having a sleepover when they heard
chaos at the end of her street.
they went down to find out what was happening.
they learned that a woman was
raped and the man was on the loose.
so they quickly run home very sensible! Girls if this happens to you always leave the place you're safely inside and run home
and bolt everything down. There was no need to bolt stuff down, the rapist wont nick anything, just lock the doors, don't start bolting stuff down.
everything settles down for a while
then they started hearing weird noises
coming from outside.
they let their minds go wild well not that wild really, I mean they are told a rapist is on the loose on their street and hear a noise outside and think it's a rapist, that's not that wild. If they thought it was Mitt Romney singing the hits of T-Rex, that would be wild.
so they got scared and hid inside a closet. Good sized closet to hide 5 girls, obviously a nice house
the man was really outside so not really letting their minds go that wild and
found a window that had a broken bolt. Well why didn't they check this when they bolted everything down!?When rapists are concerned take basic safety precautions and check things and report any broken locks.
he crept in quietly.
the girls were scared crapless.
he walked into the room
and opened the closet,
"Nice sized closet" he said looking at the five of them.
the girls screamed and ran in separate directions. My God! This closet really is massive! It has separate directions! I'm assuming the girls didn't run towards the door coz that's where the man was so that would be stupid. So there are six separate exists in total! Also incidentally when you say “the girls ran home” do they all live together? In which case why the heck were they going to a sleepover somewhere else?
four of the girls went downstairs and
locked the cellar door, Good idea, leave yourselves no method of escape and leave one of your friends stranded with a rapist! Always a good move. "Sorry mate but this is a cellar, its not as big as a wardrobe that we could all fit into.” Are there really 5 other exits from the closet? That seems unlikely. That four of the six doors would lead to the same place too just seems a bit…you know what I’m saying. How many doors does one wardrobe need?
that was right above the bathroom. Right ABOVE the bathroom! So they have the room with the closet, then below that they have a cellar then they have a bathroom below that! Any more underground floors? Btw, below the bathroom is where they keep the Batmobile and below that is the Hammersmith and City line, and below that is the girls’ kitchen.
He caught the fifth girl
and took her into the bathroom, if the cellar is above the bathroom, why did he not catch the other girls on the way passed.
raped her,
and skinned her alive. Bit harsh! He left the person raped in the street alive to tell her story to the 5 girls, this is not fairness.
her friends heard her die that night Well they would
but couldnt do anything about it. Well they could have let her come into the cellar with them where they were safe or reported it to the police as soon as they discovered there was a rapist on the loose but apart from those very obvious things there’s nothing they could do about it.
they listened to her scratching the door to get out.
in the morning when he had fled,
the remaining went into the bathroom.
There engraved into the wall was her message:
"how could you have let me die" That's holding a grudge! Having been skinned alive you get some sort of cutting implement and engrave a strongly-worded letter of complaint on the wall, rather than roll around the floor in agony at not having any skin and being in the kind of pain its just unnatural to be alive after
they looked up to get the tears out of their eyes
and saw her flesh dangling from the knife that skinned her.
If you dont repost this (pass the story on) Thanks I know what repost this means
the man will skin you alive too, but if I repost it he knows I know the story, If I keep quiet he'll have no reason to skin me alive,
because they havent caught him yet.
And the girl will make sure you will die, She's hardly in a position to make sure of anything really.
so she can pass on the tale. Again not really in a position to pass it on.
Fact: A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. Well that proves it then. All the facts add up. Well one of the facts adds up. Well is possibly a coincidence. Also the “because they haven’t caught him yet” bit: if you’re saying this happened in 1933 the “yet” bit displays a frankly unrealistic element of optimism.
He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. Sorry, where's this bit from and what relevance does it have to the above tale? I thought she was dripping from the ceiling and writing on walls and shit in the story. Was all that just irrelevant warm up? Like “haha just kidding, but seriously there was this horrific murder.”
The murderer chanted "Toma soto balca" as he buried her.
Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. Couldn't have used some asterixes to blank it out and save us some trouble could you?
In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. I don't care I'll be asleep
She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. Well that's unfair, I didn't do it!
If you send this on, she will not bother you. Well she's bothered me already with this frankly threatening e-mail
Your kindness will be rewarded Oh yes! It had better be
chaos at the end of her street.
they went down to find out what was happening.
they learned that a woman was
raped and the man was on the loose.
so they quickly run home very sensible! Girls if this happens to you always leave the place you're safely inside and run home
and bolt everything down. There was no need to bolt stuff down, the rapist wont nick anything, just lock the doors, don't start bolting stuff down.
everything settles down for a while
then they started hearing weird noises
coming from outside.
they let their minds go wild well not that wild really, I mean they are told a rapist is on the loose on their street and hear a noise outside and think it's a rapist, that's not that wild. If they thought it was Mitt Romney singing the hits of T-Rex, that would be wild.
so they got scared and hid inside a closet. Good sized closet to hide 5 girls, obviously a nice house
the man was really outside so not really letting their minds go that wild and
found a window that had a broken bolt. Well why didn't they check this when they bolted everything down!?When rapists are concerned take basic safety precautions and check things and report any broken locks.
he crept in quietly.
the girls were scared crapless.
he walked into the room
and opened the closet,
"Nice sized closet" he said looking at the five of them.
the girls screamed and ran in separate directions. My God! This closet really is massive! It has separate directions! I'm assuming the girls didn't run towards the door coz that's where the man was so that would be stupid. So there are six separate exists in total! Also incidentally when you say “the girls ran home” do they all live together? In which case why the heck were they going to a sleepover somewhere else?
four of the girls went downstairs and
locked the cellar door, Good idea, leave yourselves no method of escape and leave one of your friends stranded with a rapist! Always a good move. "Sorry mate but this is a cellar, its not as big as a wardrobe that we could all fit into.” Are there really 5 other exits from the closet? That seems unlikely. That four of the six doors would lead to the same place too just seems a bit…you know what I’m saying. How many doors does one wardrobe need?
that was right above the bathroom. Right ABOVE the bathroom! So they have the room with the closet, then below that they have a cellar then they have a bathroom below that! Any more underground floors? Btw, below the bathroom is where they keep the Batmobile and below that is the Hammersmith and City line, and below that is the girls’ kitchen.
He caught the fifth girl
and took her into the bathroom, if the cellar is above the bathroom, why did he not catch the other girls on the way passed.
raped her,
and skinned her alive. Bit harsh! He left the person raped in the street alive to tell her story to the 5 girls, this is not fairness.
her friends heard her die that night Well they would
but couldnt do anything about it. Well they could have let her come into the cellar with them where they were safe or reported it to the police as soon as they discovered there was a rapist on the loose but apart from those very obvious things there’s nothing they could do about it.
they listened to her scratching the door to get out.
in the morning when he had fled,
the remaining went into the bathroom.
There engraved into the wall was her message:
"how could you have let me die" That's holding a grudge! Having been skinned alive you get some sort of cutting implement and engrave a strongly-worded letter of complaint on the wall, rather than roll around the floor in agony at not having any skin and being in the kind of pain its just unnatural to be alive after
they looked up to get the tears out of their eyes
and saw her flesh dangling from the knife that skinned her.
If you dont repost this (pass the story on) Thanks I know what repost this means
the man will skin you alive too, but if I repost it he knows I know the story, If I keep quiet he'll have no reason to skin me alive,
because they havent caught him yet.
And the girl will make sure you will die, She's hardly in a position to make sure of anything really.
so she can pass on the tale. Again not really in a position to pass it on.
Fact: A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. Well that proves it then. All the facts add up. Well one of the facts adds up. Well is possibly a coincidence. Also the “because they haven’t caught him yet” bit: if you’re saying this happened in 1933 the “yet” bit displays a frankly unrealistic element of optimism.
He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. Sorry, where's this bit from and what relevance does it have to the above tale? I thought she was dripping from the ceiling and writing on walls and shit in the story. Was all that just irrelevant warm up? Like “haha just kidding, but seriously there was this horrific murder.”
The murderer chanted "Toma soto balca" as he buried her.
Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. Couldn't have used some asterixes to blank it out and save us some trouble could you?
In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. I don't care I'll be asleep
She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. Well that's unfair, I didn't do it!
If you send this on, she will not bother you. Well she's bothered me already with this frankly threatening e-mail
Your kindness will be rewarded Oh yes! It had better be
Sadly the person who wrote this was attacked
by the girl and as a result went
Mad, his madness caused him to leave
Big gaps halfway through sentences like a
Tit.
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